The most important species you come in contact with on daily basis is people. Unless you are living alone on a deserted island, you cannot escape one reality of life: you have to deal with people everyday. Wherever you go, and whatever you do, there are people and people and people you have to tackle.
The people you come in contact with everyday can assume any of the following forms.
Your boss; business partners; government officers; your assistants and servants; your spouse; your friends, the judges (if you are connected with legal profession); your enemies etc. The examples are unlimited. In addition to the people you are already come in contact with, there are people who will come in contact with you in future. Unless you are already a ‘people-person’, you might be finding it a bit difficult to deal with people.
Previously I was of that type. But then, I realized that the world we live in is an interdependent world. I also realized that the very basis of success in legal profession which I am in, is founded on contact with people. So decided to do something about it and to learn to make me comfortable dealing with people. Irrespective of the profession or job you are in, you cannot do away with dealing with people. So wisdom demands that we learn and master this art.
In this article I will be sharing with you some of my insights on how to be comfortable while dealing with people.
Love yourself first.
Learn to love yourself. The first step I took in the direction of dealing with people effectively was to improve my self-esteem. I realized that for being able to effectively deal with people I was lacking in this basic requirement: a high self-esteem. By operating from low self-esteem it is difficult to deal with people effectively. The reason is obvious. With low self-esteem you always unconsciously put yourself below the person you are dealing with, consequently resulting in making your transaction with the person ineffective. (I am using the word ‘transaction’ not in the restricted sense of commercial transaction, but in a wider sense to include all kinds of social and emotional transactions)
Your Self-esteem level
Your boss; business partners; government officers; your assistants and servants; your spouse; your friends, the judges (if you are connected with legal profession); your enemies etc. The examples are unlimited. In addition to the people you are already come in contact with, there are people who will come in contact with you in future. Unless you are already a ‘people-person’, you might be finding it a bit difficult to deal with people.
Previously I was of that type. But then, I realized that the world we live in is an interdependent world. I also realized that the very basis of success in legal profession which I am in, is founded on contact with people. So decided to do something about it and to learn to make me comfortable dealing with people. Irrespective of the profession or job you are in, you cannot do away with dealing with people. So wisdom demands that we learn and master this art.
In this article I will be sharing with you some of my insights on how to be comfortable while dealing with people.
Love yourself first.
Learn to love yourself. The first step I took in the direction of dealing with people effectively was to improve my self-esteem. I realized that for being able to effectively deal with people I was lacking in this basic requirement: a high self-esteem. By operating from low self-esteem it is difficult to deal with people effectively. The reason is obvious. With low self-esteem you always unconsciously put yourself below the person you are dealing with, consequently resulting in making your transaction with the person ineffective. (I am using the word ‘transaction’ not in the restricted sense of commercial transaction, but in a wider sense to include all kinds of social and emotional transactions)
Your Self-esteem level
So check your self-esteem level. If your level of self-esteem is already higher, then congratulations. You already possess one of the most important ingredients for being able to effectively deal with people. Probably the chances are that you are not suffering from this problem at all. But if this is not the case then you should seriously take steps to improve your self-esteem. Learn to love yourself. You need to learn to put the other person in perspective. I learnt this by reading “The Magic of Thinking Big” by Dr. David Schwartz, and “See You At The Top” by Zig Ziglar. In addition I created my own self-hypnosis tapes for enhancing my self esteem and they proved to be of great help.
Recognize that each and every person is different
That is undeniable truth. Each and every person is different just as the thumb impression of each and every person born on this plane is different. It is now a matter of common knowledge, and scientifically proved, that the thumb impressions of no two persons on this planet, match. Recognize the fact that no two individuals (including you) are identical and accept this difference. Everyone is different. Engrave this truth on your mind like an inscription on a rock. The difference I am talking about is not just external difference on physical level. That difference is obvious and it does not require an article like this to be written for stating something obvious.
Accept the difference
What is significant to note is that each person is different internally too. What you like, and think that the other person will also naturally like, may not be liked by the other. What motivates you may be a put off for the other. What excites you may be a cause of depression for another. You may like slim girls or slim boys, but that may not be the liking of your close friend. You may be interested in personal development, but your close friend, your spouse or those around you may not find it worthwhile. Examples can be limitless. The point is that we recognize this fact; we accept this fact and we operate on that basis in our daily lives.
Respect The Difference
Having recognized and accepted the truth that each and every person is different, the next and most important thing to do is to respect the difference. Respecting the difference means absence of any contemptuous feelings for the other individual and trying to understand the other person. Understanding the other person is a great way to establish good relationship.
Nahush Khubalkar is a lawyer, speaker and writer based in India. He learns and applies success principles, skills for personal development for the betterment of his life. He loves to share his insights with, and to make a positive difference in the lives of those who desire to lead a positive and meaningful life.
